


Tumblr Connections

by ColorfullyUnique



Category: Andi Mack - Fandom
Genre: Aged Up, Angst, Coming Out, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Romance, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Hurt and comfort, I suck at tagging, Jealousy, Kippen Siblings, M/M, Slow Burn, Talking online, They are oblivious, They’re in high school, Tyrus - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-28
Updated: 2019-02-20
Packaged: 2019-09-29 00:52:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 12,398
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17193416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ColorfullyUnique/pseuds/ColorfullyUnique
Summary: Cyrus and TJ are helplessly oblivious to their feelings for each other. Their friends are painfully aware.Cyrus meets someone online who he thinks he finally be himself with, holding no fear that they will find out who he is in real life. Then his feelings for this mystery man start changing into something different while his feelings for TJ continue growing.But what will he do when he finds out the “stranger” who he’s been talking to turns out to be none other than his best friend, the boy he has a crush on.





	1. Online Relationship

Cyrus tapped his pencil against the desk in an unsteady rhythm, his eyes trained on the clock as he counted down the minutes left until the end of school.  
  
_Five more minutes_ , _I can do this_ Cyrus thought as he released a breath he didn’t realize he had been holding. Scanning his eyes around the classroom slowly, his eyes stopped on his best friend Andi. She gave him a quizzical look, silently asking if he was okay and he shrugged, giving a half smile and a thumbs up before turning back to the clock.  
  
_Are you kidding me?_ He thought, internally groaning as he saw that no time had passed. He hadn’t noticed how loudly he had been tapping his pencil until he vaguely felt a hand lightly touch his fingers, halting his tapping and he snapped to face the person the hand belonged to. TJ. Suddenly his face felt like it was bathed in flames, and he quickly pulled his hand away, tucking it into his lap before muttering a quiet “sorry”.  
  
TJ chuckled, shrugging before he smiled a full smile at Cyrus. Cyrus felt his heart rate speed up and he yelped softly as the bell rang. The sound had startled him even though he had been waiting for it to ring. He stood, quickly shoving his notebook and pencil into his backpack before rushing out of the door and out of the exit, hopping into his mom's car as soon as he spotted it.  
  
“How was school today?” His mom inquired, glancing in the rear view mirror as she pulled away from the curb, before turning her head slightly to look at him out of the corner of her eye. Cyrus sighed and shrugged, turning towards the window and leaning his head against it. He could hear his mom droning on, no doubt being a therapist instead of a mom, so he tuned her out, closing his eyes and counting the seconds until he was back home. After what felt like forever, he felt the car slow to a stop and heard the car shut off. Peeking open one eye and turning to his mom, he saw she was staring at him and he forced a smile, before turning and pushing the door open, shutting it a little harder than necessary and running inside.  
  
He toed off his shoes and hung his jacket on the coat rack by the door before rushing up the stairs, taking them two at a time. By the time he reached the top he was huffing out his breath, he definitely wasn’t used to the physical exertion. He closed his eyes, breathing deeply then calmly walked to his room, pushing open the door and closing it partially once he was inside. Growing up with therapists, he gained the “open door rule” because both sets of his parents believed wholeheartedly in the “closed doors mean secrets”. He purposely kept his eyes off the laptop perched on top of his desk as he carefully set his backpack down on his bed and picked up the few stray clothes on his floor, depositing them in his laundry hamper. Once he was satisfied and his heart wasn’t hammering in his chest, he turned towards his desk and took the few steps to his desk, sitting down and booting up the laptop.  
  
He bit his lip nervously as he waited for the screen to come on, trying to keep the smile from his face as he waited. A few months ago, Cyrus had stumbled upon the world of Tumblr, instantly being drawn to it because you could be yourself and you’d always have people who supported you while doing it anonymously so someone you know wouldn’t happen to stumble upon it and know right away it was you. Cyrus originally started his account when he first discovered he was gay and watched Love, Simon for the first time, instantly feeling connected to the main character. He had always known he was different but couldn’t exactly pinpoint it, but watching the movie he instantly fell in love with Nick Robinson. It’s what started him on writing fan fiction. He grinned widely when the internet browser finally pulled up and he quickly entered in the website.  
  
Logging in his eyes went directly to his messages, blushing darkly seeing the little number, stating that he had a message. He hastily clicked it, his messages with “tristian-james-totally-gay” popping up. He had found this other blog shortly after creating his account. He was a blog dedicated entirely to male actors that he found attractive and would create edits for them. The one that drew Cyrus in was a video edit for Nick Robinson (though he would never admit that he watched the video over and over again, each time more enthralling than the last).  
  
**Tristian James** **:** **_so ‘cy-vs-homo-sapien-agenda’... how’s the new story coming along? I could create the cover for it ya know_** ** _  
_**  
Cyrus rolled his eyes at that, releasing a breathy laugh as his fingers hovered over the keys, debating what he should type back.  
  
**Cyrus** **:** **_you don’t even know what it’s about Trist, I told you, I’m keeping it a secret until I’m able to post the whole story._** ** _  
_**  
**Tristian** **:** **_ugh fine. So tell me about your day? I have some news for you by the way!_** ** _  
_**  
Cyrus smiled, tucking his left foot underneath him then casting his eyes up toward the ceiling, thinking back over his day.  
  
**Cyrus** **:** **_Well... it was honestly kinda boring. Except... I had an interesting interaction with you know who today!_** ** _  
_**  
He quickly closed out of tumblr quickly, switching to the app on his phone before pulling up the document with his latest story. He began typing quickly, suddenly stuck with ideas for his story which he derived from his real life. And his pathetic, unrequited crush on his best friend TJ. Cyrus sighed, his eyes drifting up to the cork board hanging on the wall in front of his desk as he instinctively found the one of him and TJ, smiling while Cyrus leaned against his best friend’s shoulder heavily, temples pressed together. He sighed, reaching a hand up to trace absentmindedly over the picture, halting next to TJ’s face before dropping his arm heavily back to his side.  
  
He heard his phone chime and he quickly picked it up, nearly dropping it back down in his haste to check the notification.  
  


**Tristian** **:** **_Oh yeah? Tell me your news and I’ll tell you mine_** ** _  
_**  
His sentence was ended with an emoji with a wide smile, as if anxiously waiting to tell him everything. He groaned softly, rubbing at his eyes gently while trying to figure out how much he should or should not say. He had never specifically told this Tristian guy his age, what he looked like, or even mentioned TJ’s name once. He wanted to keep it as anonymous as possible.  
  
**Cyrus** **:** **_well... he held my hand today. That’s about it. And then laughed at my stupidity._** ** _  
_**  
He added two embarrassed looking emojis, his mind reeling back to the end of school, when T.J. had placed his hand on top of his own. Just thinking about it made his heart flutter while simultaneously making him want to hide away forever. His crush on TJ was a newer development, only really becoming known to Cyrus in the previous few months, though the only other person privy to this fact was a stranger whom he had met online three months ago.

 

**Tristian** **: No. Way. How was it? Did you feel flutters in your stomach? Were your hands sweaty? Ew, please tell me you didn’t let him touch your sweaty hand.**

 

Cyrus’ eyes widened as he read the message before bringing both of his hands up to his face and inspecting them. He sighed a breath of relief when they appeared dry but leaned back in his chair, staring up at his ceiling while thinking back to if his hands were sweaty or not. _Wait, he only touched the back of my hand._ He realized, furrowing his brow. Shaking his head he stood up from his desk, tucking his phone into his hoodie pocket and flopped down onto his bed. _Why did I say he held my hand when that’s not even close to the truth? I was just annoying him._ Cyrus groaned as these thoughts circled around his head before pulling a pillow over his face and closing his eyes.

 

He wasn’t sure when he had fallen asleep, or how long he was asleep, but he felt a vague tingling sensation on his right hip and groaned, rolling over onto his side and letting out a soft yelp as he rolled too far and fell off the bed. Sitting up and rubbing his head, he realized the tingling was actually a vibration and it was his phone. He pulled it out and looked at the caller ID before answering.

 

“Hello?” He said softly, turning to rest his back against the side of his bed as he settled down to sit on the floor.

 

“Underdog! Where have you been? I’ve been texting you and trying to talk to you for…” there was a muffled sound which Cyrus could only assume it was TJ pulling his phone away to check the time. “Four hours! What happened dude?” TJ’s voice was slightly raised but Cyrus could hear the worried tone it carried. Cyrus laughed slightly and shook his head, forgetting momentarily that TJ could see him.

 

“I came home and kinda just… fell asleep I guess. Well I talked to…. Andi. And then I fell asleep.” Cyrus felt bad lying to TJ, but he felt he couldn’t tell him about the boy he had met online. The main reason being that while he didn’t even know Tristian, he could feel himself developing feelings for him while Cyrus’ feelings for TJ also kept growing.

 

“Oh, okay. Sorry. I just wanted to know if you wanted to meet at the swings?” Cyrus could feel the blush rising up his neck and coloring his cheeks at the question and he hesitated, biting his lip. “I mean, if you’re free. I just need to get out of this house right now.” TJ’s voice had taken on a sadder tone, letting Cyrus know how badly he really needed this, even if he wouldn’t outright say it.

 

“Okay, okay. I’ll be there in about half an hour. I need to clear it with my parents and make myself look presentable.” He said before he really thought it out, looking through his closet for a less wrinkled hoodie than the one he was currently wearing.

 

“Okay, I’m already here. Usual swing.” Cyrus smiles at that, pressing the speaker phone button as he pulled the wrinkled garment off before replacing it with the one he had just pulled off the hanger. “And Cyrus? You always look good.”

 

Before Cyrus even had the chance to reply, TJ hung up, leaving Cyrus to stare slack jawed at his phone, still displaying TJ’s contact. This boy was going to be the death of him, he knew that already. After Jonah, Cyrus made himself the rule of not to fall for another straight boy, but he could only say he kept it for one of the two boys catching his attention with only the rule breaker within his grasp.

 

Suddenly he was snapped from his thoughts as his phone dinged and his eyes widened when he saw it was from Tumblr. He never answered back Tristian earlier.

 

**Tristian** **: I’m going to take your silence as all the confirmation I need Cy lol and I’ll be looking for your story to be uploaded soon, I am your biggest fan**

 

His message was ended with winking and kissing emojis and Cyrus felt the familiar twisting and fluttery feeling in his stomach.

 

**Cyrus** **: Yeah, yeah whatever. You’ll have it tonight if you stop bugging me. You’re a distraction.**

 

With that Cyrus closed out of the app, a huge smile lighting up his face as he walked out of his room heading to meet the only other boy who could make him feel like this, not knowing they were one and the same.


	2. Mistakes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m apologizing in advance for the angst in this chapter !!
> 
> But anyways- comments and kudos are well appreciated and you can find me on tumblr at wanna-feel-alive

TJ sat on the swing, swaying back and forth slowly as he kicked at the wood chips below his feet. His phone sat perched on top of his thigh, his conversation with ‘cy-vs-the-homo-sapien-agenda’ open as he smiled, his slightly gelled hair falling forward to tickle his forehead.

 

A few minutes later he heard the familiar _crunch_ of someone walking towards him and he hastily shut off his phone, shoving it in his pocket before standing up to face Cyrus. His breath caught in his throat at the other boys smile. For a second, it seemed as if everything had stopped and it was just the two of them in the world.

 

“Teej!” Cyrus called out, smiling at the taller boy as he finally reached the swings. TJ blinked rapidly, trying to get his brain to reconnect to his mouth but he just nodded and smiled, stepping to the side and getting back on his swing. He could vaguely see Cyrus giving him a weird look but he smiled, pushing his feet forward then swinging them back behind him to get the swing going.

 

“So… What have you been doing all day? Except texting and calling me a thousand times.” Cyrus teased him lightly, dragging his feet through the wood chips below him, writing his name then kicking it so that it went back to normal.

 

“Oh you know… homework. I practiced basketball for a bit, got bored and then decided to just come to the swings, even if you didn’t answer me.” TJ said, dropping his head then tilting it to the side to look at his Underdog. He saw Cyrus smile and he relaxed, his mind getting lost in his features. His full lips, his cute little nose, the one mole right below his eye that he just wanted to reach out and touch so badly that his fingers ached with the need.

 

Shaking his head he pushed his legs faster before he carefully jumped off his swing, losing his balance a bit before standing up straight to watch his friend swing. Every time Cyrus swung towards him, he would smile and playfully reach up towards his feet, acting like he was going to push him as Cyrus lightly kicked at the tips of his fingers. TJ smiles, turning and stepping behind Cyrus to start pushing him.

 

“Not so high! Teej!” Cyrus yelled while giggling, squirming in his seat as he held on tighter to the chains. TJ smiled and lightly pushed him, biting his lip as he watched his friend.

 

He didn’t know what overcame him but he grabbed the sides of the swing, slowly bringing Cyrus to a stop and stood there, his chest pressed lightly to Cyrus’ back while his brows were furrowed.

 

“Teej? What are you doing? Why’d you stop?” Cyrus asked lightly, turning his head to face the taller boy behind him. TJ’s breath caught in his throat at the close proximity of their faces once Cyrus turned to look at him “TJ?” Cyrus’ voice sounded a little bit huskier than usual and TJ quickly shook his head, releasing the swing and turning to run in the direction of his house.

 

“TJ!” He could vaguely hear Cyrus calling out for him but it just pushed him to run faster, only chancing a look back when he was sure he was far enough away and what he saw broke his heart. Cyrus was standing at the edge of the park, his hands slightly raised before shaking his head and turning in the opposite direction. TJ sighed, stuffing his hands in his pocket as he continued his journey back home. He didn’t know why he did it, he didn’t know what would happen. He just knew that he felt an overwhelming urge to lean forward and close the gap between them as Cyrus looked back at him.

 

He finally reached his house and walked to the front door, pushing it open and slamming it behind him. He kicked his shoes off glancing around the silent house and then started up the stairs to his room, taking two at a time.

 

“TJ? Is that you?” His sister Amber called from his room. He sucked in a breath, closing his eyes tightly before pushing open her door and leaning against the door frame, plastering a fake smile on his face.

 

“Yeah it’s just screw-up me. Sorry to disappoint.” He said, his voice dripping with venom, aimed not towards her, but at himself. She furrowed her perfectly shaped brows and scooted over on her bed, lightly hitting her hand against the top of it and jerking her head in his direction. He sighed, crossing the room and flopping down onto the bed, groaning into her pillow as she lightly rubbed his back.

 

“What happened Trist?” She said softly, lowering herself down onto the bed so their heads were next to each other on the pillow. Only two people ever got to call him that. His sister and his mystery boy online. No one else even knew his real name.

 

“I screwed up Amber. I almost kissed Cyrus. He was on the swing and I was pushing him then suddenly I just stopped him. Held him there against my chest and he was so so close…. I ran away from him. He was probably disgusted by me.” TJ said dejectedly as he rolled over from his stomach to his back, staring up at the ceiling. _He probably won’t want to see me ever again. I might as well say something to him before he has the chance to say that._

 

TJ jumped off the bed, pulling out his phone that was already vibrating, signaling he had a text. His heart dropped when he saw who it was from.

 

**Underdog: I think we need to talk…**

 

**TJ: about what? The park? There’s nothing to talk about. It’s was freaky being that close to you. Besides, what do you think was gonna happen? I was gonna kiss you? That’s gross. No way.**

 

As TJ was typing, he was walking back to his room and he stared down at his text. He did want to kiss Cyrus. He wanted to kiss him repeatedly, but he didn’t want Cyrus to know that. He may have gone a bit overboard but he didn’t want to lose his friend. He hit send then stuffed his phone in his pocket, turning to the mirror that was behind his door and studying his reflection. He could feel each of Cyrus’ breaths against his lips. He could smell Cyrus’ signature smell. Citrus with a hint of vanilla. It was his favorite smell in the world. TJ closed his eyes, lightly touching his fingertips to his lips, imagining if what happened at the park had gone a little different.

 

TJ sighed as his phone started vibrating in his pocket, opening his eyes and dropping his hand to grab his phone out of his pocket, and the text he got was not what he was expecting.

 

**Underdog: So I’m not saying I wanted to kiss you or anything, but seriously? You describe kissing me as gross? ‘Ew no way’. Seriously TJ? You really know how to make a guy feel great about himself. Now I know how truly disgusting I am. Thanks.**

 

TJ’s jaw dropped as he read it over several times. That was not at all what he had meant. He tapped on Cyrus’ contact and tried to call him just for it to go to voicemail after two rings. He tried again and the same thing happened. Cyrus was ignoring him. _I may have just messed up the best thing in my life..._


	3. In Your Arms

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos make my heart swell and make my day so please don’t forget to do either!

Cyrus huffed, slamming his front door open as he groaned loudly. _Stupid TJ with his stupidly cute face and his stupidly kissable lips and-_ Cyrus shook his head, kicking off his shoes, hearing them smack against the wall as he ran up the stairs.

 

He was on his way home when he had texted TJ, although he really wished he hadn’t. _Of course he’s repulsed by me. I mean, I’m repulsed by me._ He thought bitterly as he flopped face first onto the bed.

 

He wasn’t sure when he had started crying, but he knew he couldn’t stop. He stifled a sob with the back of his hand as he rolled over to lay on his back, worried his mom would hear him. He faintly heard his phone buzzing from where he threw it onto his desk earlier. He sighed, slowly sitting up and wiping his eyes as his sobs turned to hiccups then little sniffles, walking towards his desk.

 

He gingerly pulled his chair out from his desk and sat down, lifting his phone up to swipe through his notifications. Most were calls and texts from TJ (which he gladly ignored), but a few were from Andi and Buffy, asking if he wanted to meet at The Spoon before deciding they would just go tomorrow. Cyrus closed his eyes tightly, a few tears running down his face as he counted to ten, breathing slowly before deciding to open his conversation with TJ.

 

**TJ: Underdog please… answer my calls I need to explain**

 

**TJ: Cyrus? I didn’t mean it like that**

 

**TJ: Please, come on. I need to hear your voice. I need to know you’re okay.**

 

**TJ: I’m really worried about you.**

 

**TJ: Okay, I know I screwed up. But you have to know, I didn’t mean it like that. I would never mean anything like that.**

 

There were several other messages, but Cyrus wasn’t interested in reading through them. He rolled his eyes, angrily scrolling to the bottom and typing out his message, sending it without a second thought.

 

**Cyrus: Why can’t you get it through your thick skull that I don’t want to talk to you? Just leave me alone. Stop texting me, stop calling me. I don’t want to see your stupid face. You’re just another bully TJ.**

 

Cyrus dropped his phone back to his desk, balling up his hands and pressing them to his mouth as he let out a sob. This was the worst fight he had ever been in with someone. He got up, slipping off his hoodie and grabbed his phone, heading back towards his bed.

 

He stood in front of his bed momentarily turning to stare at the picture he had of him and TJ tacked onto the wall above his desk. Shaking his head he lifted the covers, sliding under and pulling the blankets up to cover his head. He lazily wiped at the tears falling down his face, just for them to be replaced with more as he sniffled quietly, listening out for his mom. Eventually his phone chimed and he pulled it closer to him, pressing the home button to turn on the screen and saw it was a notification from Tumblr.

 

He sat up hastily and wiped his face, tucking his feet underneath him as he unlocked his phone, opening the app.

 

**Tristian: Cy… I messed up big time. Like majorly. Ducky absolutely hates me.**

 

Cyrus furrowed his brow, biting his lip as he shifted so he could lean back against his headboard.

 

**Cy: I doubt he hates you Tris. I don’t see how anyone could hate you. I never could. If it makes you feel better, apparently I make Lemon sick.**

 

Cyrus smiles faintly as he remembered what made him give TJ the secret nickname of Lemon. When Cyrus has first met TJ he was the biggest jerk imaginable, making Buffy’s life a living nightmare. Now TJ is sweet, kind, and (for the most part) enjoyable to be around. Like that saying, when life gives you lemons you make lemonade. Now TJ is back to being a lemon.

 

**Tris: Listen, I don’t know what you look like, but I’m sure he’s making a big mistake. It’s his loss, not yours. If I knew you in real life, I’d never let you go. But maybe… just talk to him? Explain to him how he’s making you feel? It’s what I’d do.**

 

**Cy: I can’t. I can’t talk to him. I gotta go. Talk to you later.**

 

Cyrus sighed softly, closing out of the app and staring at the background of his phone. It was of TJ, he was laughing at something Cyrus had said and he just looked genuinely happy. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to hear him out… He tapped on his messages icon, going straight to his conversation with TJ.

 

**Cyrus: Okay, you have one chance to explain. This is the last chance.**

 

**TJ: Underdog! I swear I didn’t mean what I said, I wish I could take it all back. You aren’t disgusting. I think you’re cute in that friendly way and amazing. I just… thought it’d be weird to kiss. Don’t you? We are best friends. Kissing would just be weird. It’d be like me kissing Marty or you kissing Jonah. Weird. Not gross. I’m so sorry. Please forgive me.**

 

Cyrus widened his eyes slightly. Weird. Right, because they are just friends. Never could be anything more. Right.

 

**Cyrus: I was just… Hurt okay? It hurt seeing you describe the thought of kissing me as disgusting. I just… I’ve always had low self esteem and what you said just hit hard.**

 

**TJ: Muffin… I swear, I didn’t mean it like that. You’re my best friend okay? I never wanted to hurt you.**

 

**Cyrus: Okay, you’re forgiven. Just… come over?**

 

**TJ: Already on my way!**

 

Cyrus blushes darkly as TJ’s message was ended with a heart and he jumped out of bed, rushing to the mirror. His hair was sticking up in every which way and he had dried tears all over his face.

 

“No no no!” Cyrus began panicking as he rushed to the bathroom. Picking up the brush he quickly ran it through his hair, turning on the faucet so the water could turn warm and leaning down to quickly wash his face. Turning off the water, he stood up, re-examining himself as he dried off his face with the hand towel. _It’s just TJ, why am I putting in so much effort?_ Truly, he knew why, he just didn’t want to admit it.

 

He wasn’t sure when his feelings for TJ has morphed into what they are now, but when he realized them, it hit him like a truck. Every time he saw TJ, his heart would speed up, his hands would get sweaty, he couldn’t even talk. If he were to admit it -which he totally wasn’t- he wanted TJ to kiss him in the park. His whole body screamed for it to happen, but it never came. He was going to tell TJ of his feelings before their whole fight and now, more than ever, he had to hide them.

 

“Underdog?” Cyrus jumped, turning from his reflection in the mirror to see TJ standing in the doorframe.

 

“Teej…” He whispered softly before surging forward into TJ’s arms, burying his face in TJ’s chest as he felt his arms wrap around his shoulders. Cyrus wasn’t sure of many things in his life, but the one thing he was sure of, was that this is where he belonged. In TJ’s arms.

 


	4. So... Friends?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh thank you all so much for the overwhelming support! I love seeing your guys’ comments, they make me smile so much!

Cyrus pushes his food around his tray, sighing happily as he remembered the hug he shared with TJ just the day before. Suddenly he snapped back to reality when a hand waved in front of his face.

 

“Hello? Earth the Cyrus.” Andi said playfully with a knowing smile.

 

“What could you have possibly been thinking about? Wait I know- TJ? Or was it mystery boy this time?” Jonah said, casting his eyes towards Andi as if they knew something he didn’t. He covered his face with his hands, feeling the heat of his blush.

 

“I wondered if TJ stands for something. Hmm… T…. could be, Theodore? Tyler? Taylor? Trey?” Buffy said, pursing her lips and tapping her chin with her forefinger. Marty laughed at his girlfriend and turned to Cyrus.

 

“Even I don’t know the answer to that one, you all are on your own with this sleuthing business.” He said, smiling so his dimples showed. Cyrus had to admit that he found Marty to be cute, his dimples were a complete weakness, but the track star wasn’t his type. His eyes drifted over to the table where the basketball team sat, eyes catching on TJ to find him already staring at him. He quickly turned away, back to the conversation.

 

“Wait- I know! It’s gotta be Tristian! And J, hm…. I’d say James because it’s common. Tristian James. I’d say that could be a real contender for what TJ means.” Jonah said, as Andi gently elbowed him and they leaned closer, whispering to each other so no one else could hear.

 

“I, uh, just remembered. I need to be somewhere else.” Cyrus said, quickly standing up and practically running out of the lunch room. It wasn’t that he cared about them playing around like that, it was what they were talking about. Trying to make a connection between TJ and his online mystery boy. There’s no possible way, TJ was straight anyways.

 

“Hey! Cyrus wait!” He heard a voice call from behind him and he slowed his steps until he stopped, still not turning to face the person as he sighed, trying to get his breath back, slightly breathless from his departure from his friends. He closed his eyes just as TJ stepped in front of him and he lowered his head.

 

“You okay Underdog? I was worried when I saw you rush out of the cafeteria like that.” TJ said, placing his hand on Cyrus’ shoulder but still keeping his distance. Cyrus finally looked up at him and forced a smile, trying to decide on what to tell the taller boy.

 

“Uh… yeah. I’m fine. They were just teasing me about something.” He finally decided on telling a half truth and wrinkled his brow, tilting his head to the side as he looked away from TJ.

 

“Do you want me to talk to them? No one treats my Underdog like that. I’ll handle this.” The basketball player went to go turn away and head back the way he came from but Cyrus quickly grabbed his hand, holding him in place.

 

“No no no, it’s okay. I just needed to breathe. I know they didn’t mean to upset me. I’m not mad at them. Walk with me?” Cyrus asked softly, biting his lip while he waited for TJ’s reply. The taller boy smiled widely, a blinding smile that made Cyrus momentarily forget how to breathe, and nodded. He felt his face heat up and he cast his eyes downward, realizing he was still holding TJ’s hand and he quickly dropped it, missing the hurt look on his face as Cyrus nervously rubbed his hands against his jeans.

 

Both boys turned and walked down the hallway together in silence, their shoulders occasionally bumping with their close proximity.

 

“Is it okay if I ask what they were teasing you about? You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.” TJ asked after a few seconds of continued silence. Cyrus breathed in deeply, turning to face TJ quickly, before stopping and grabbing his forearm gently.

 

“Okay, if I tell you… promise not to think any differently of me? I just really don’t want this to ruin our friendship or for you to be disgusted by me..” Cyrus said softly, looking anywhere but at the boy in front of him, biting the inside of his cheek harshly.

 

“Muffin, I promise, nothing could ever change the way I think about you. You’re my best friend. Always will be.” TJ smiled warmly, a slight look in his eyes that Cyrus couldn’t quite decipher but he exhaled loudly and stood up straight, squaring his shoulders.

 

“I’m gay Teej. They were teasing me about a boy I like and how I always talk about him but I don’t even know him.” Cyrus rushes out before looking down, hoping he doesn’t ask who because he really didn’t want TJ to know about Tristian. After a minute of silence, Cyrus looked up, seeing an array of emotions crossing TJ’s face. He slowly backed away.

 

“Oh my god, I should not have told you. You’re going to be disgusted by me now..” Cyrus mumbled, tears filling his eyes as he gestured wildly with his hands. That seemed to snap TJ out of his thoughts.

 

“Woah, Underdog, I’m not disgusted. I’m shocked that you thought this could change our friendship. You do know my sister is a lesbian right?” TJ asked, his voice taking on a teasing tone.

 

“Sister?” Cyrus asked, knitting his brows together in confusion. _He has a sister? Why did I not know this?_ He thought then shook him head, another thought entering his head. _Just like I didn’t tell him I’m gay. We don’t know everything about each other._

 

“Yeah. She’s older than you, her and I would be in the same grade, but I got held back so it makes sense you don’t know about her. She works at The Spoon though, maybe you know her? Amber. She looks just like me.” He laughed loudly as Cyrus’ jaw dropped, taking in the information.

 

“Amber? Amber is your sister? How did I not know this! Wait- you said lesbian, she dated Jonah?” Cyrus asked, his mind reeling while trying to process what he had heard.

 

“Yeah, and you dated Iris but here we are.” TJ started matter-of-factly with a smug grin on his face. Cyrus felt his face heat up from embarrassment and playfully pushed TJ back by his shoulder. He could feel his heart hammering out of his chest at the lazy smile that rested on the blond’s face at their banter.

 

“Muffin, will you come to my practice after school? We can go to The Spoon after. I’ll even buy you baby taters.” TJ said, a hopeful glint to his eyes.

 

“Of course! Your number one fan will be there. I was supposed to go to get some baby taters and milkshakes with Buffy and Andi later anyways so we could meet up with them after your practice?” Cyrus suggested as he began walking again, the other boy following after a few steps.

 

“Sounds good to me.” TJ called out just as the bell rang. Cyrus smiled and waved to him over his shoulder, thankful that school was almost over so he could watch his boy practice.

________

Cyrus felt weird being in the gym after school was finished for the day. _Well actually I feel weird in the gym every time I step foot in here._ He thought, looking at the handful of boys that were on the basketball court as he walked in. His eyes caught on TJ who was caught up in whatever drill he was running through. He silently sat on the bleachers, pulling a notebook out of his backpack to scribble down ideas for a new story he wanted to write. He was going to base it off of his life, using the characters from Love, Simon. With his tongue slightly sticking out of the side of his mouth in concentration, began writing.

 

“Hey, what are you working on?” He heard a voice say from above him. He furrowed his brows and looked up, realizing practice was done and an unknown boy was standing in front of him. Cyrus was momentarily unable to speak as he took in the boy. He had never seen him before, he would have definitely remembered. Tan skin, light brown hair that looked so soft that he wanted to run his fingers through it, and his eyes. His eyes were Cyrus’ favorite part, shining emerald green that held a mischievous glint.

 

“Underdog!” Cyrus blinked rapidly, turning to face TJ who was jogging up to the pair. Cyrus smiles, shoving his notebook back in his backpack and stood up, nearly knocking into the new boy.

 

“S-sorry…” Cyrus mumbled, trying to avoid eye contact.

 

“I see you’ve met Ander. He just transferred here and already joined the team. Ander, this is my Underdog, Cyrus.” TJ spoke, lightly hitting Ander on the shoulder as he smiled. Cyrus coughed awkwardly at the use of ‘my Underdog’.

 

“Oh! So you two are together?” Ander asked, confusion written across his face.

 

“No! I mean… no, just best friends.” Cyrus laughed softly, tightening his grip on the straps of his backpack. TJ looked at Cyrus, frowning a bit at his reaction.

 

“Well… can we be friends to? I could always use some. I can give you my number now?” Ander said, a playful smirk on his face while taking a small step toward Cyrus. Out of the corner of his eye, Cyrus saw TJ take a step forward, his hand moving up from his side toward Ander before stopping and dropping back down.

 

“Um… I guess so…” Reaching into his pocket to grab his phone and hand it to the other boy, Cyrus glanced over at at TJ, who had a deep scowl on his face, his arms crossed across his chest. _What’s his problem?_ As soon as he got his phone back, he turned to his best friend, smiling lightly.

 

“Ready to go to The Spoon?” Cyrus asked, ignoring Ander who walked away. TJ turned to watch the new boy walking away, the scowl still present on his face as he turned to face Cyrus again, his face not showing any emotion.

 

“I can’t. Have to be home. I’ll text you later.” The taller boy said in a monotone voice before turning away and walking out of the gym, leaving Cyrus hurt and confused.

 

“Wait! TJ, are you mad at me? Did I do something wrong?” Cyrus asked, his voice rising as he panicked, tripping over his own feet as he raced after the basketball player. He heard TJ sigh and stopped suddenly, causing Cyrus to crash into him before falling to the floor.

 

“No Cyrus, I’m not mad at you. I just… I don’t want you to replace me with him.” He finished his sentence as his voice dripped with venom, extending a hand down to Cyrus to help him up.

 

“Replace you? He could never replace you Teej! You’re my not-so-scary-basketball-guy. There’s only room in my heart for one of those. You will always be my best friend.” Cyrus said, gripping TJ’s hand and pulling himself up, crashing into the other boys chest as a result. _Oh wow… he’s really warm. And smells good. How does he smell good? He should be sweaty!_ Cyrus cringed as TJ cleared his throat, causing Cyrus to look up at him.

 

“Not that this isn’t new or anything but… what happened to personal space?” He asked, raising a brow as he glanced down to where Cyrus’ hands were pressed against his chest.

 

“Ah! I’m so sorry. Uh- can you really not go to The Spoon?” Cyrus asked, backing up quickly and pretending to brush off dirt on his pants from the fall.

 

“Yeah, that’s what I was going to tell you before Ander started flirting with you.” TJ said, a hard edge present in his voice. _I’ll have to ask him later if something happened between them._ Cyrus thought as he frowned.

 

“I was looking forward to those baby taters.” _And you._ Cyrus thought bitterly, biting his tongue to keep himself from saying it outloud.

 

“You’re still going with Andi and Buffy. How about you and I go on Friday? Before your movie night thing.” TJ asked, continuing his walk out of the school with Cyrus following beside him. Cyrus felt his stomach fill with butterflies at the mention of movie night. _He listened and remembered._

 

“T-that would work for me. Right after school?” Cyrus couldn’t help the hopeful tone his voice had taken on. TJ smiled, stopping to give Cyrus a quick hug before backing away to walk in the direction of his house.

 

“Right after school I promise.” TJ smiled widely, continuing to walk backwards as Cyrus smiled, a blush coloring his cheeks.

 

“I’ll text you later Kippen!” Cyrus called out, lifting his arm to wave at TJ, a soft laugh escaping his mouth as the other boy stumbled before catching himself. Cyrus turned around, starting in the direction of The Spoon.

 

“Oh and Cyrus? You’re my Underdog. Don’t forget that. No one else’s.” Cyrus choked, whipping around to catch a fleeting glimpse of the earth shattering smile TJ gave him before he turned and started running home.

 

_Oh yeah, I’m definitely gone for this boy._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don’t forget to comment and give kudos!


	5. Swinging

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I forgot to mention (and made a tiny mistake last chapter but I fixed it) this fic is set when they are in high school!

“So… TJ? Does that stand for anything?” TJ could tell it was supposed to be a casual question but looking at the boy in front of him, he could tell there was a purpose behind it.

 

“So, Jonah, why do you ask?” He asked, raising a brow. The frisbee player flushed, lifting his head to face the taller boy and gave him a sheepish grin.

 

“Just wondering?” He stated, though it sounded more like a question. 

 

“Hey toe jam!” He heard a voice call out from behind him and he groaned, dropping his head forward against the table with a  _ thud _ .

 

“Amber? You know TJ?” He hears Jonah ask, the confusion evident in his voice. That causes TJ to laugh.  _ I guess no one really knows we are siblings. _

 

“He’s my dumb twin brother who I just so happen to be older than.” TJ didn’t even have to look up to know she was smirking, he could hear it in her voice. He held up two fingers and lifted his head to look at her.

 

“Two damn minutes, that’s it. I swear to god you act like you’re years older than me when your maturity level is at a three.” TJ said, narrowing his eyes at her as she shrugged, sitting on the bench beside her brother and glancing across the table to her ex boyfriend.

 

“Don’t you just love how he argues the older part but not the dumb part? He knows it’s true. It’s why he got held back.” Amber said, lightly nudging her shoulder against her brothers. TJ frowned, closing the folder in front of him that contained homework before stuffing it into his backpack and standing up to walk away.

 

It’s not that this wasn’t normal talk he heard from his sister, it just hurt because she was now saying it in front of his friend. Slinging his backpack over his shoulder, he ignored his sister’s exasperated sigh followed by her calling out his name. He quickly shoved his hand over his shoulder, raising his middle finger towards her and kept on walking, his long strides quickly bringing him to the place where he didn’t even know he wanted to go. 

 

Striding over to the swings he flung his backpack to the ground, plopping himself onto the swing and began pushing his legs back and forth while absentmindedly humming the song his best friend had taught him what felt like forever ago. 

 

“Wow I thought you would’ve forgotten.” He heard a voice call out from behind him and he turned, seeing Cyrus behind him, smiling. Without speaking, TJ motioned to the swing beside him with his head, not once breaking his rhythm of swinging.

 

“Jonah told me you left upset. I figured I’d find you here.” Cyrus said softly as he sat down beside the basketball player. TJ sighed, dragging his feet through the wood chips to stop his swing.

 

“Did he tell you why?” TJ mumbled, looking at his feet rather than at Cyrus. He heard the swing next to him creaking, a hand entering his sight before lightly laying upon of one his own that was resting against his thigh. TJ sucked in a breath while waiting for the answer.

 

“He just mentioned something Amber said upset you and that I should be the one to check on you, which I had already planned. You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. I won’t push you.” The younger boy said softly, lightly squeezing TJ’s hand before going to pull his hand away. Without thinking TJ quickly reached over, grabbing Cyrus’ much smaller hand, lacing their fingers together and letting their hands dangle between them. TJ could feel his cheeks heating up with his blush but he didn’t dare to look over at the boy beside him.

 

“She told Jonah how I was held back. How I’m so stupid that I can’t pass a simple math class.” TJ huffed out, dropping Cyrus’ hand but immediately missing the warmth. 

 

“You aren’t stupid Teej. It’s not your fault. Your brain is just wired a little differently. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with you… Turtle John.” Cyrus giggled as he finished his statement, achieving his goal of making the older boy smile. 

 

“Turtle John? Really Muffin? Couldn’t come up with anything else?” TJ teased as he arched a brow, smirking at Cyrus who blushed darkly. 

 

“Okay you know what? Don’t mock my creativity. I just wanted to make my handsome best friend smile.” Cyrus said, not noticing how TJ’s smile faltered at the word friend.  _ Right, that’s all we are and ever will be.  _ Pulling out his phone quickly, he turned away so Cyrus couldn’t see the screen, pulling up the Tumblr app.

 

“Sorry, I should tell my mom where I am so she’s not worrying.” He said, his voice cracking a bit as he lied to his best friend.

 

**Tristian: Cy… I’ve officially given up all hope on getting with Ducky, all my attention and affection is on you now.**

 

TJ sighed while stuffing his phone back in his pocket, ignoring how as soon as he hit send, Cyrus’ phone went off.  _ Probably one of his parents checking up on his.  _ He noticed the way Cyrus blushed as he checked his phone, peeking his interest.

 

“Oh uh, sorry it’s just… Ander.” Cyrus said after a moment of silence while he was reading the message. TJ’s heart sank, taking in the information he just heard.

 

“Oh… um, why? What does he want?” TJ asked, hoping Cyrus doesn’t notice the disappointment in his voice. Thankfully, his eyes stay trained on the phone.

 

“N-nothing. Um, he was just saying hi.” Cyrus said, hastily taping out a text before putting his phone back in his jacket pocket. TJ could feel his phone vibrating against his leg but he ignored it, instead focusing on the painful feeling in his chest that he felt after learning someone, who was openly gay, was talking to **_his_** Underdog. _At least they aren’t afraid to admit it and come out._ TJ clenched his jaw, standing up quickly and turning to Cyrus. 

 

“Cyrus, I need to tell you something.” TJ blurted out, hoping his confidence will catch up with his mouth. Cyrus furrowed his brows, confusion etched across his face.

 

“Okay, I’m listening.” Cyrus said encouragingly, tilting his head to the side as he studied the boy in front of him. TJ panicked and felt like his brain had short circuited.

 

“I swing!” He practically yelled at Cyrus, his face heating up in embarrassment at his words.  _ TJ, you are a damn fool.  _ Cyrus started giggling while nodding.

 

“Well… yeah. Obviously. We’ve been coming to this park together since I was 13. Three whole years Teej, I’ve noticed that you swing.” Cyrus said smiling widely, barely able to contain his laughter. 

 

“No Cyrus. That came out wrong I mean… I swing for the same team as you. God I’m really bad at this. Oh fuck it… Underdog, I’m gay.” TJ kept his head up, watching Cyrus’ face for a reaction. 

 

“Oh Teej… now I feel dumb for my reaction when I came out to you.” Cyrus said before standing up and leaning up on the tip of his toes to wrap his arms around TJ’s shoulders. “You are no different. You will find a great guy eventually.” 

 

_ Yeah… except I only want you. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don’t forget to leave kudos and comments, I love seeing your guys’ reactions!


	6. Lemon Boy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I absolutely love your guys' comments, they make my day to read! If anyone ever wants to talk to me about my story, my tumblr is @wanna-feel-alive I love hearing from you guys so feel free to message me or ask me any questions!

_ One minute I’m on top of the world, then the next I’m at rock bottom.  _

 

TJ traced his eyes over the words, leaning back in his computer chair as he sighed.  _ What am I doing anymore?  _ He thought about Cyrus, his warm smile, the way his mere presence made TJ weak in the knees, and then he thought about the boy he had been talking to online.  _ I’m starting to feel the same for him as I do for Cyrus…  _ Suddenly his phone started buzzing from where it presided next to his keyboard and he picked it up.  _ Speak of the devil.  _ Hitting accept, he raised the phone up to his left ear, leaning his cheek against his opposite hand.

 

“Hey Underdog. Do you need something?” He asked softly, his heartbeat immediately speeding up when he mentioned the other boy.

 

“Teej! I can’t call you just because I want to talk?” Cyrus asked, his voice sounding light as he laughed softly.  _ Damn this boy… I’m falling hard for him. _

 

“Of course you can. It’s just… we were literally together like an hour ago.” TJ said, his voice taking on a teasing edge. He wasn’t complaining. He could talk to Cyrus all the time and never get tired of hearing his voice.

 

“I missed you. Simple as that my not-so-scary-basketball-guy. Besides, I’m bored. Wanna come over?” TJ could hear muffled sounds on the other side of the phone and he knew the younger boy had just laid on his bed.  _ Okay TJ, little creepy. You need to calm down.  _

 

“People might think we’re dating. We are together all the time.” The basketball player mentioned, not fully able to stop the hopeful tone his voice took on. Holding his breath he waited for Cyrus’ response.

 

“Oh never! You’re my best friend and I enjoy spending time with you. That’s all. Nothing more. Nothing less either. I mean does that make sense, because you know-“ Cyrus began rambling, breaking TJ’s heart more and more with every word.  _ Never…  _

 

“Okay, yeah I get it. I’d never be interested in you either, don’t worry. I’ll be over in an hour. Bye.” TJ said bitterly before pulling the phone away from his ear to hang up, not giving Cyrus the chance to answer. He threw his phone down onto his desk and groaned loudly before slamming his fist down onto this desk, hissing in pain after he did.

 

“Oh fuck…” He mumbled to himself, cradling his hand to his chest.  _ That’s going to for sure leave a bruise.  _  Remembering he never answered Cy back, he opened his messages on tumblr through his computer and smiled at what he saw.

 

**Cy: Okay, not that I’m complaining… but are you okay? Do you want to talk about it? Ducky is an idiot for not wanting you.**

 

Smiling, TJ remembered how he had come up with that name for his -no not his- Underdog. He was watching a movie with his family and they were watching The Land Before Time (Amber had voted for it) and he remembered how much Cyrus loved dinosaurs. Thus TJ started referring to him as Ducky (one of the characters) in his head and online. 

 

**Tris: Uh, no I don’t think so. I’d rather not talk about him at this moment. How are things going with your dear Lemon?**

 

TJ hesitated before pressing send, wondering why he really didn’t want to know about the other guy.  _ He’s just an online friend right? I don’t even really know him. _ He thought, leaning back to run his fingers through his hair as his eyes stayed trained on the blinking cursor on his screen. Sighing as he leaned forward, TJ held his finger to the backspace key, deleting his question before sending his message. Before he could retype out his question he shut his laptop with an audible  _ thump _ and pushed his chair back to stand up and head to his best friend’s house.

 

The entire duration of his walk there, the only thing filling his mind was a constant battle of  _ Cyrus vs Cy _ . Flipping back and forth between his online friend and his real life friend, his mind came to a screeching halt and he stopped dead in his tracks.  _ Cy...rus? Could Cyrus really be Cy?  _ Shaking his head, he continued walking, seeing Cyrus house enter his view.  _ No way, he would’ve mentioned Tumblr at least once by now. Cyrus doesn’t keep secrets _ . Stuffing his hands into his pockets he made it the rest of the way to Cyrus’ front door and hesitated. He knew he could walk right in, but for some reason, it felt wrong doing that today. Ringing the bell he rocked on his heels while he waited for the door to open.

 

“Teej? You do remember you can just walk in right?” Cyrus said as soon as he opened the door, a confused look etched onto his features. TJ nodded his head awkwardly and shrugged, squeezing past Cyrus to get inside the house.

 

“Uh, yeah, sorry. Must’ve forgotten.” He said softly, leaning down to untie his shoes before slipping them off and carefully placing them beside each other next to the door. Standing up straight again, he glanced at Cyrus to see him scrutinizing him before shrugging slightly and heading upstairs to his room.

 

“So the GHC is having a movie night here on Friday if you would like to come.” Cyrus said once they were up the stairs. TJ coughed slightly and nodded before realizing Cyrus still had his back to him.  _ Fucking idiot  _ he thought, closing his eyes tightly as he flushed with embarrassment. 

 

“Of course I’ll be there. When have I ever missed an opportunity to hang out with my boy.” TJ said before he could really think about what he was saying. He heard Cyrus draw in a quick breath and his eyes widened as he realized what he had said. Quickly turning, he went to Cyrus’ desk and sat in his chair, he knee knocking against the desk and causing the laptops screen to light up. Out of curiosity, TJ turned and scanned the screen, his heart dropping down into his stomach as he realized what he was reading. It was Cyrus’ tumblr page- correction Cy’s and he had just made a post before TJ arrived at Cyrus’ house.

 

**Dear Lemon,**

***I’m jumping on this train with my mans Tristian***

 

**When I look at you, I see endless smiles. I see secrets, whispered with a breathy laugh and a chaste kiss. I see us, lounging at my house while I make you watch Love, Simon with me over and over as I shamelessly cry. I see us, hanging out with my friends, laughing at whatever new stupid thing I say.**

**I see us, but I also see him. I see him being there for me when you aren’t. I see him comforting me when you lash out at me again and I’m crying while blaming myself. I see him and I see a possibility of a future, not just the slight chance I could ever have with you. I want him.**

**I see him, but I love you even if you don’t love me.**

 

Reading through, TJ couldn’t help the tears that filled his eyes. He hastily wiped his eyes and closed the laptop softly. He remembered the post he had made about Cyrus. It was basically the same thing Cyrus (or should he start saying Cy?) had posted, calling out how he knew there was something going on between him and Ander, how he was losing hope. He just never expected… this.

 

“Hey Cy?” He said softly, still not wanting to come face to face with the person on the receiving end of his crush. He could hear Cyrus shuffled behind him then a hand was placed on his shoulder as he flinched.

 

“Yeah Teej?” Cyrus asked, concern lacing his voice as TJ shrugged his hand off his shoulder. He cleared his throat and stood up quickly, knowing the chair into Cyrus in the process, causing him to groan at the impact.

 

“Oh! I’m sorry Underdog, I didn’t mean to- I just- Is there anything going on between you and Ander?” He rushed out, reaching forward to place his hand on Cyrus’ upper arm in a form of comfort. Cyrus furrowed his brows and shook his head, stepping forward to wrap his arms around TJ’s middle. Hesitating slightly, TJ wrapped his arms around Cyrus shoulders, resting his chin on top of the smaller boys head.

 

“That really hurt Teej. I am fragile you know.” Cyrus mumbled against the basketball player’s chest. The statement causes TJ to chuckle, shaking his head a bit before pulling back to look at Cyrus who glanced up at him. He caught a small flicker of Cyrus’ eyes, his own eyes drifting down to Cyrus’ lip momentarily before swallowing thickly as he hastily brought his eyes back up to the brown eyed boys. He didn’t know who had leaned in first, but before he knew it he could feel his nose bump against Cyrus’, their lips less than an inch apart. All he had to do was lean forward a little more and-

Cyrus jumped back, his face turning a deep shade of red as TJ’s phone began ringing loudly and he groaned, pulling it out of his pocket, checking the caller ID before answering.

 

“Amber, what do you want I was a little- woah. Calm down. What’s going on? Stop crying and talk to me dammit!” TJ’s face morphed from one of annoyance to one of panic and concern. He turned to Cyrus, his eyes wide. “I’ll be there soon okay? I’m coming now.” TJ pulled the phone away from his ear and hastily shoved it into his pocket, his eyes filling with tears. 

 

“TJ, what’s wrong? You’re scaring me.” Cyrus said softly, reaching his hand out towards the older boy, who stepped back.

 

“C-can your mom take me to the hospital? Please?” TJ said, his words bumping into one another, almost incomprehensible. Cyrus nodded slowly, grabbing TJ’s hand in his own and leading TJ down the stairs, his head swimming with the information he had just heard. TJ numbly slipped his shoes on, barely registering that Cyrus was talking to his mom behind him before walking over to Cyrus who was slipping on his jacket.

 

“Can you tell me what happened Teej? Please.” Cyrus pleaded, grabbing both of TJ’s trembling hands in his own as he looked up at the glassy eyed boy.

  
“My mom… She got in the car accident on the way home. Amber wouldn’t tell me how bad it is…” He said softly, allowing Cyrus to pull him in for a hug as he squeezed the smaller boy tightly.  _ I could never tell him I’m Tristian… It would ruin our friendship and his post… He’s with Ander now.  _ TJ sighed, pulling back to look down at his best friend and frowned.  _ I never really had a chance.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't not fear my lovelies! Our boys will be happy soon enough, I promise!
> 
> Don't forget to leave comments/kudos!


	7. Tell Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for being patient with me! I'm hoping the next chapter won't take so long to be uploaded. I love you all so much and I wanted to thank you all for supporting me and my writing<3

Everything appeared to be in slow motion as Cyrus sat in the waiting room of the hospital, his mom beside him. He was acutely aware that every few minutes she would gently place her hand on his knee to stop him from anxiously bouncing his leg up and down, but as soon as she took her hand away, his leg was bouncing again.

 

The only thing he could vaguely hear was shuffling feet and far away beeps and blips of various machines, some even keeping the people around him alive.  _ Please let TJ’s mom be okay…  _ He thought desperately as he put his head in his hands, his elbows on his knees. 

 

Suddenly the world burst with sound as familiar sneakers entered his vision as he sprung out of his seat, nearly knocking TJ over in the process.

 

“Woah Underdog, careful.” TJ said softly as he placed his hands on Cyrus’ waist to steady him, causing the younger boys face to flush in the process as he awkwardly coughed and stepped back, away from his touch.

 

“Any news? I was going to get you food or something to drink but I wasn’t sure where the vending machines were but I also wanted to be here when you came out to see if there was any news and-” Cyrus had begun rambling and he quickly stopped his sentence, taking in a deep breath while glancing up as TJ’s face.  _ Oh no, I hate seeing him cry…  _ He thought, resisting the urge to reach his hand up and brush away the stray tears that were still on his cheeks.

 

“She’s okay. Minor cuts and bruises and they want to keep her overnight because she has a concussion, but they said she got lucky.” TJ said softly, the biggest smile spreading across his face as he spoke. Before he could stop himself, Cyrus was launching himself forward, wrapping his arms around the basketball players shoulders while nearly knocking him off his feet in the process.

 

“Oh! That is such amazing news Teej. I’m so so happy for you.” Cyrus cried out, a tiny giggle falling from his lips as he held his friend tightly. Feeling TJ snake his arms around his waist, Cyrus blushed darkly, hiding his face in the taller boys neck momentarily before stepping away.

 

“Hey Cy? Can I ask you a question?” TJ asked, his face taking on an expression Cyrus couldn’t quite decipher.  _ Wait- When did he start calling me Cy? _

 

“You have me a little worried here, but yeah sure. Go ahead. I’m all ears.” He said softly, sliding his hands into his pocket as he studied the taller boys face. He watched TJ bite his lip and tilt his head to the side before looking away.

 

“Uh- nevermind, thank you for being here for me.” TJ mumbled, giving him a half smile before turning and walking back to where he had just come from.  _ Huh… That was weird…  _ Pulling out his phone, he went directly to the Tumblr app to see if Tristian had messaged him back. Nothing.

 

Furrowing his brows, he opened the conversation and sat back down in his chair, thinking about what exactly to say.

 

**Cy: Hey Tris, I might be IA for a little while. Lemon’s mom got in an accident and I know he needs me right now, though he might not admit it to me.**

 

Reading over his message, he nodded slightly before hitting send and shoving his phone back in his pocket.

 

Sliding down in his seat, Cyrus rested his head against the back of the chair while closing his eyes. As he sat there, his mind began drifting back to his conversation with TJ.  _ When did he start calling me Cy? _

 

Sitting up quickly, Cyrus gasped while pulling out his phone, heading directly to his tumblr page.  _ TJ saw my post about him on tumblr  _ he thought vaguely, pressing his hand against his mouth.

 

_ If he saw it, why didn’t he say anything?  _ Furrowing his brows, he looked up, scanning the room around him to see if he could catch a glimpse of his best friend. Seeing him walking back towards him, Cyrus stood up, walking quickly over to the taller boy.

 

“Okay, so I know this isn’t the best time, with your mom being hurt and all… but earlier, when you were at my desk um, did you happen to see anything on my laptop?” Towards the end of his sentence, his voice began fading out, unsure of what the response would be. TJ’s smiled faltered, but then went back to normal although Cyrus could see a hidden emotion hiding in his eyes.

 

“Uh, no. I don’t think so. Why? Did you leave your diary open?” TJ asked, his voice taking on a teasing edge.  _ Oh if only you knew…  _ Cyrus plastered a smile on his face and shrugged.

 

“Oh. No. Just embarrassing baby pictures. Just wanted to make sure you didn’t see the picture of three-year-old me running around the backyard naked Timothy Jimothy.” Cyrus lightly patted the other boys shoulder before laughing at his confused expression.

 

“Now where did you come up with that one Underdog?” TJ asked, raising his brow while smirking slightly.  _ Wow this boy really gets the butterflies going… _

 

“Oh Troy J-Bolton, you will never know what’s going on inside my head.” TJ groaned at the name Cyrus said before playing rolling his eyes and ruffling the younger boys hair.

 

“Really Cy? Comparing me to Troy Bolton? What all because we both play basketball?” Cyrus bit his lip to keep himself from laughing too hard and shook his head, glancing down at his feet then back up at the green eyed boy. 

 

“No it’s because you’re both the unfairly attractive basketball captain.” Blushing at his own words, Cyrus quickly looked away, coughing to cover up what he had just said. Suddenly he felt a hand on his cheek and he looked back to the boy in front of him who had an unreadable expression on his face.

 

“And you aren’t so bad yourself Underdog.” TJ whispered, his eyes drifting to Cyrus’ lips, causing the brown haired boys breath to get caught in his throat.  _ It would be so easy to just lean in. So easy to just close that distance and- _

 

Cyrus’ thoughts were cut off by someone clearing their throat behind the two boys, causing them to jump apart.

 

“I’m sorry to ruin your moment, but mom is asking for you Teej.” Amber said softly, an apologetic look crossing her face as her eyes drifted from her brother to her new friend. Giving her a forgiving smile, he turned to TJ, wrapping his arms around the boys waist in a hug.

 

“I should probably get going anyways. I still have to go to school in the morning and Ander is picking me up early so we can go to breakfast.” Cyrus said softly, his face buried in TJ’s chest. Suddenly all heat left him as TJ stepped back, a pained expression on his face before it was carefully covered up with a neutral expression.

 

“Yeah, wouldn’t want to be tired for your date. You know, you should totally ask him out. I can tell he’s into you. See you later Cyrus.” TJ said coldly before turning and walking back towards him moms room, leaving a confused Cyrus and an annoyed Amber behind.

____________

The next morning Cyrus sat in his bed, his phone sitting atop his thigh as he waited for his usual good morning text from his best friend. Realizing it wasn’t going to come, he swallowed the lump in his throat before getting up to start getting dressed for breakfast.  _ Did TJ really mean what he said? _

 

Hearing his phone chime as he pulled his sweater on, Cyrus dove at his bed before picking up his phone and sighing softly at the notification.  _ Oh, it’s just Ander. _ Unlocking his phone, he opened his messages with the older boy. One thing he learned about Ander that he didn’t expect was that the boy was a year older than TJ, two years older than himself. 

 

**Ander: Hey Cy. I just wanted to let you know I’m outside. Can’t wait to see your cute face.**

 

Pursing his lips, Cyrus read over the text before frowning slightly.  _ Shouldn’t I feel something with him calling me cute? I should feel like I do when TJ calls me Underdog or Muffin. _

 

**Cyrus: Alright, see you in a minute bud.**  Laughing at his blatant awkwardness, Cyrus stuffed his phone in his pocket before grabbing his bag and heading downstairs to get in the car of the boy he had no interest in. 

______

“So Cy, how was breakfast?” Jonah asked lightly when he saw the brown haired boy at lunch later that day. Cyrus sighed, pushing his tray away from him as he laid his head on the table in front of him.

 

“A disaster. Well- for me it was. He asked me out on another date and even though my head was screaming no, my mouth said yes. I didn’t have the heart to take it back when I saw how happy he got.” Cyrus mumbled, the words being smothered by his arms. He heard whispering and looked up to find Andi talking to Jonah, occasionally glancing at Cyrus. “What?”

 

“Just… What about TJ?” Andi asked hesitantly, tucking a stray piece of hair behind her ear. Cyrus sighed and shook his head, pulling out his phone as it vibrates.

 

**Tristian: Oh wow, I’m sorry to hear that. It’s crazy though, my mom is in the hospital because she got into a car accident too.**

 

Cyrus gasped as he read the message over and over before looking up at Andi. 

 

“Tristian’s mom got into a car accident just like TJ’s. So now not only do I have to be there for TJ but I have to be there for Tristian too because they both need my support.” He said softly while pouting, his friends exchanging an incredulous look before Buffy starts laughing.

 

“Cy… I mean this in the nicest way possible, but how oblivious can you be?” She asked, her eyes widening as she gestured widely towards him. Furrowing his brows in confusion, he glanced down at his phone that back up at his friends, at a loss for words.

 

“What could you possibly mean?” Cyrus asked, typing out a quick reply to Tristian before shoving his phone back into his pocket to give his friends his full attention. Jonah tilted his head as he studied his friend.

 

“I’m oblivious, but even I’m not that oblivious. Really Cy? TJ’s mom gets in a car accident. Tristian James’ mom gets in a car accident. TJ… Tristian James. Really Cy? You haven’t figured it out yet?” Jonah said softly, reaching forward to place his hand on Cyrus’ forearm.  _ No. No way. This is too crazy. _

 

“Why do you guys have to do this… I was happy. I didn’t need you guys putting these ideas into my head!” Cyrus suddenly burst out of his seat, staring at his friends with tears in his eyes. Grabbing his bag, he headed toward the exit, not once looking back at his friends.

 

Pulling out his phone, he dialed the one person he wanted to talk to right now.

 

“Underdog? Aren’t you supposed to be in school?” As soon as his best friends voice filled his ear he calmed down, slowing down his pace from a near run to a slow walk, his feet carrying him in the direction of the swings.

 

“Teej… Can you meet me at the swings?” He hated the way his voice cracked in the middle of his sentence, but he wouldn’t help it. Holding his breath he waited for the other boy to respond. He heard shuffling and hushed voices on the other end and became concerned the answer would be no. 

 

“Of course. I’ll be there in fifteen minutes and we can talk about whatever is bothering you. I… I can’t wait to see you because there’s something I need to tell you. Bye Muffin.” Hanging up the phone, Cyrus smiled briefly as he continued his walk to the park. Glancing down at his phone, the notification he saw made him stop in his tracks.

 

**Tristian: I said “I swing”. I think if he can accept me after that, this won’t be a big deal.**

 

**Tristian: Shit wrong chat. Ignore that.**

 

_ That’s what TJ said to me when he came out… _  Holding his breath, Cyrus typed out his reply, biting his lip before he pressed send. 

 

**Cy: TJ Kippen… I swear if this is you and you knew but didn’t tell me… Please tell me this either isn’t you or you didn’t know. Please.**

 

Releasing a shaky breath, Cyrus began walking towards the park again, only this time at a slower pace. Feeling his phone vibrate, Cyrus decided to ignore it until he arrived at the swings, allowing himself time to calm down and get his breathing back to normal.

 

“Cyrus…” Somehow the older boy had beat him to the park and from the looks of it -sweat on his forehead, his breath coming out in short little gasps- he had run there. Approaching the swings, TJ stood up in front of Cyrus and for the first time in a long time, made him feel small.

 

“Please tell me you didn’t know. I could handle it if you didn’t know.” Cyrus said, his voice sounding small and fragile. TJ looked torn and reached out to Cyrus who lurched backwards out of his reach.

 

“I should’ve told you. I found out yesterday at your house. I accidentally saw your tumblr open on your laptop. I was scared that it would change things so I kept quiet. Please Cyrus. I’m so sorry.” TJ rushed out, taking a few hesitant steps towards Cyrus as he was talking. As soon as the words were out of his mouth, Cyrus felt a sharp pain in his chest and it felt like all of the oxygen had been sucked out of the air.

 

“You… knew? Wow… I thought you were the one person I could count on.” Cyrus whispered, breaking eye contact to look down at his shoes. “You should’ve just told me Teej.”

 

“I didn’t think it would end like this. And besides, your new ‘lemon boy’ needs you. How was breakfast this morning by the way?” TJ asked, his voice taking on a cold tone. Cyrus’ jaw dropped and he quickly looked up, using both hands to shove the other boy back harshly.

 

“Really? I have never been interested in Ander you dumbass! It’s you! It’s always been you…” With that being said, Cyrus turned and began walking away from the basketball player.

 

“Wait! Cy.. I’m sorry I-” TJ began before Cyrus turned around and cut him off.

 

“No Teej- Or should I start calling you Tristian? Why not both. I need space just please… Let me have space. We can talk tomorrow.” Cyrus called out, his voice coming out harsh and broken. TJ reached out for him before dropping his hand as Cyrus shook his head and turned, walking in the direction of his house as he clenched his fists. 

 

_ All I ever wanted was you. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do not fear my lovelies, our boys will be together and happy soon enough! Do't forget to leave kudos/comments! And please, feel free to message me on tumblr @wanna-feel-alive


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